It's called The Shack.
It's one of my favourite books ever.
You should read it.
It's about The Trinity: The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.
Life in the Human Condition.
Religion. Rules. Laws. Expectations.
Spirituality.
And most importantly,
Love and Forgiveness.
Prevalent & interwoven in every facet of life--which is everything, all combined.

Hells yes. Pretty much all around. Though instant attraction is not something that generally happens to me. I can honestly say that it's happened maybe a total of 3 or 4 times in my life. To me, that's the epitome of sexual attraction--the instantaneousness of it all. It's an innate sense of feeling.


However, when I'm done with someone romantially, sexually, I'm utterly done. If there's ever indecisiveness, it's really more so a leaning in the 'no' direction of things. I don't ever break up and then get back with someone after the fact, in the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship sense, anyways. ;)

Regarding the last question, I have known a guy I'm crazy for a total of 4 and a half years. I was not gaga over him at first, until the end of last year, actually; although he always drew me to him as a person: I always adored him. I had that moment with him, you know, the one where everything else melted and meshed into the backround in a crowded bar for an open mike night. I'll never forget it.

But things are complicated. His best friend is gaga over me, and we are actually closer, friendship-wise. Though it'll never venture into romantic territory. And I'm willing to let the guy go I truly adore in the hopes he finds a girl more perfect for him than me. It's all about love, man. All around.

Yeah, they sure can be pretty cute, and sometimes pretty hilarious, too!

I have a few, sure. Darbs. Darbinator. D-Tron. D-Rock D-elux.

And, most recently, Aryan Nations, given to me by Daren. Man, he makes me howl! And all the more so because the name's in the plural sense, not the singular.

So, the other week, me, him and Dyl were at open mike night @ The Denim Lounge, and Dyl asked me "So how long until you have another drink?" And I was like, Oh, another 6 months, give or take."

Dyl's all "Jesus Murphy, Darbi! Holy shit!"

Yeah, it was hilarious.

Can't wait to have an Innis & Gunn, boys and girls. Haven't tried it yet. It's supposed to be a pretty tasty beer. And it's sure to be delightfully sipped too.

If Lyss and I ever were in a band, it was to be called Innocent Gun, actually based off the name of that beer there. Yeah, I know. Killer band name. All my friends say so, and they're the one's who play instruments and are musically inclined..it's awesome.

Tilllllll next timmmmeeee!

Daren & me are hitting either Tommy Burger or The Rusty Cage South for Dinner tonight! Tres Magnifique! I think that's how you spell it, haha!!!

So, we went to The Denim Lounge for the first time in months, as it's usually a wicked time, and the guys wanted to do some new songs. Actually, it seems as though they want to run the thing eventually, once Dyl can commit to it. So that's pretty cool.

Daren cracked me up at the beginning of the night referencing Tom Jones' sex bomb song, you know, the one where he's dressed in a suit and seemingly in Las Vegas or something, singing sex bomb over and over? It was in response to me going on about how sexy Josh from Queens of the Stone Age is, cause I called him a sex bomb. It was pretty hilarious!!! We showed up at Dyl's with Daren singing SexBomb! SexBomb! over and over.


Then there's Dylan! He had me in laughing fits for a good portion of the night. Dude just makes me HOWL! One thing that just completely busted my guns was when he was talking about facebook newsfeeds and adding everyone who adds him out of not being an asshole, but to also get a better picture of who everyone really is--especially people from his past on Saltspring Island. Anyways, he was all commenting about the uselessness and retardedness of facebook updates, having some guy be like "I'm making the most amazing barbeque chicken! It's going to taste great!" to which Dyl thinks "Hey Buddy, go fuck a hat!" He hates things like that because of its utter narcissism, and non-importance. He cares about world affairs, governmental happenings and conspiracies, and about wars, senseless death, starvation and famine, especially concerning children. And he's so passionate about it, that when people are completely oblivious and entirely self-involved, he despises it. He's just like "Status updates are what Twitter's for!" (which he doesn't use or have). He gives a shit about things that really matter, and I love that about him.

I ordered a virgin ceasar, cause I've always loved them; and Dyl always drinks vodka ceasars so he was just like "That's adorable!" and it wasn't sarcastic or anything, which oftentimes it is.


Towards the end of the night, the waitress had split all of our bills, and I went to the restroom, came out to pay my portion, and she was just like "Dylan covered you all." It must have been at least 100 bucks. What a sweetheart. It's something I would do and have done in the past. Something nice for friends without any pretence or expectations in the future, you know....

Darryl had me in a fit when he screamed out for Daren and Dyl to do Wrong, by Depeche Mode 'cause the lyrics are a bit tricky and not super easy to remember. And Dyl was just like "I don't know all of the lyrics" to which Darryl reponded "Come on Dyl...I was born in the wrong house, at the wrong time...!" (The lyrics are amazing and much better than just that). But yeah, overall, the night was super sweet ass!

To cut it ridiculously short (and because I don' have the patience right now to type myself into words), I'm going to begin going to church services on Sunday nights with an ex co-worker, and older French Christian Woman, Dallas, whom I truly love and admire. She has given me two bibles within the last week because she knows of my interest in God and my uncertainty about where to start hearing and absorbing his words and messages.

I don't really know any religious people in my life; I grew up in a very non-religious household with very non-religious parents. But I've always believed in God and felt extremely certain of him.

Listening to Incubus and Jeff Buckley at full blast; ready to start getting ready for my day, drinking coffee and getting ready.

I'll probably post a friends-only, sad asshole, lengthy version of this entry later today or tomorrow. I suppose whenever I feel inspired to write about myself in that great a detail. You know how you have those written urges? Yeah, then.

Love you friends.

~Darb

Have you ever been more surprised by how you found out something than by the fact that said something is actually true?

Yeah, me too.

Oh well, oh well.

Yummy boy. Sweet, sweet hell.

Yeah Beauty, I love you so,...so! BLACK BEAUTY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

1. What color is your bra?
I am not wearing one. Me neither, Tori.

2. Do you ever lie about your age?
No.

3. Do you prefer "sensitive boys" or "tough guys"?
I prefer guys who are honest and don't play games. They can be tough or sensitive, it doesn't matter. Really, a real man is both anyways.

4. Do you prefer blonde or dark haired guys?
I think I lean towards dark hair.
Me too. But it depends.

5.Are you currently single ?
Yes.

6. How many things in your past do you regret?
I don't know if I regret anything. I know that I feel like I've let myself be used on occasion, but it was for love.

7.Do you have a best friend?
Yes. Alyssa. We just got our best friend tattoo two days ago. Lyrics from a Jeff Buckley song.

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
haha. A Social Worker with a Masters or Ph.D in Philosophy.

10. Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
No.

12. Who was the last person you hugged?
Alyssa

13. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes. Twice.

14. Have you ever been disappointed in a friend for doing something that you don't agree with?
haha. YESSIR!

15. Do you judge your girlfriends?
Yes, sometimes.

16. Describe your underwear.
Black lace and emerald green satin.

17. Have you ever went out with someone because you felt bad?
No, but I've settled before.

18. Do you like your life?
Yeah!

19. Do you shop at Hollister?
I don't even know what it is.

20. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
No. But one of them tried once.

21. Has your friend ever stolen from you?
I'm not sure. Hopefully not. He or she would be gone.

22. Did you forgive them?
n/a

24. Do you have more friends that are girls or guys?
Girls.

26. Do you ever skip school?
Sometimes.

27. Has anyone ever cheated on you?
Hopefully not. I don't think so...

28. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
No. But that'd be kinda fun, no?

30. What is one of your biggest fears?
Merely existing.

31. Have you ever skipped class?
Yes.

32. Has anyone close to you ever passed away?
Yes.

33. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes.

34. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
Yes. I'm Obsessive.

35. Do you believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater"?
Not necessarily. This question reminds me of this Weezer song, called Getchoo. Basically he's saying that now she's doing to him what he's always done to every other girl, and he's fucking tortured. Here are the lyrics:

p.s. BEST WEEZER ALBUM EVER.

This is beginning to hurt
This is beginning to be serious
It used to be a game
Now it's a crying shame
Cos you don't wanna play around no more

Sometimes I push too hard
Sometimes you fall and skin your knee
I never meant to do
All that I've done to you
Please baby say it's not too late

Getchoo, uh-huh
Getchoo, uh-huh
Getchoo, uh-huh
Getchoo, getchoo, getchoo, uh-huh

You know this is breaking me up
You think that I'm some kind of freak, uh-huh
But if you'd come back to me
Then you would surely see
That I'm just fooling around

Getchoo, uh-huh
Getchoo, uh-huh
Getchoo, uh-huh
Getchoo, getchoo, getchoo, uh-huh

I can't believe (I can't believe)
What you've done to me
What I did to them (What I did to them)
You've done to me

Getchoo, uh-huh
Getchoo, uh-huh
Getchoo, uh-huh
Getchoo, getchoo, getchoo, uh-huh

This is beginning to hurt
This is beginning to hurt
This is beginning to hurt
This is beginning to hurt


37. Have you ever stolen anything?
Yes.

38. What is your screen name?
What is a screen name? Just something you use to identify yourself? If so, Darbi, drock_delux, darbirhian, a suitable blur, and daisychainsaw.

40. Have you ever had a good feeling about something and it turned out you were right?
I don't know. But that would be awesome!!!
41. Do you ever wish you were famous?
Occasionally.

42. Do you ever wish you were a man?

Only so I could fall in love with a woman, and worship her body as mine never has been.




You deleted your facebook Tori? Cool.

#1
http://picasaweb.google.com/headshavecanada/HeadShave2007MRC/photo#5054071516678531730

#2
http://picasaweb.google.com/headshavecanada/HeadShave2007MRC/photo#5054071525268466338

Super awesome face
http://picasaweb.google.com/headshavecanada/HeadShave2007MRC/photo#5054071533858400946

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better ! If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate!
3. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

THESE QUESTIONS ARE FROM beastwith5hands:

i love these too! i think i've done this like, five times. haha.

1. What food would you NOT eat, even if you were stranded on a desert island and a box of it washed up?

2. If you could invite any five people, alive, dead or fictional, to a dinner party, who would you choose?

3. If you had the power to solve just one of the world's problems, what would you choose?

4. what kind of jokes make you laugh the most?

5. what is one thing that you would uninvent if you could?

MY ANSWERS:

1. I said tripe, with or w/o that sauce.

2. This is rather EASAY. God, Satan, Serj Tankian & Daron Malakian (System of A Down) and Jeff Buckley. The first four would be involved in some sort of intense convo/debate, etc..., and Jeff and I would be at the other end of the room after dinner, enjoying a bottle (or 2) of a nice Zinfandel. Oh Jeff.

3. WAR. Then I would devise a group (a very, very large group) to end the rest of the world's major problems, including poverty, famine, homelessness, etc.

4. Sarcastic/dry/ironic

5. Not so much an invention as a condition: acne vulgaris. Really, any skin condition ever, but mainly acne for its widespread affect on the young and old; and also for its staying power and scar power--both physically and mentally (for some). The way I think about it is that a lot of the other conditions go away, or are easier to cover (and don't occur on the face/back, etc.). For ex: psorisis, exzema, itchy scalp....

You are right: TOTALLY FUN!!!

Shaving my head for CANCER


This year, I am going to do this, and sign up DURING the registration process. Anything anyone wants to donate, let me know. My email is seasons_fade@yahoo.ca, or dmaas947@mymrc.ca Those 2 are my private and school accounts that are the easiest way to access me, and me you. My goal is to reach a grand, by the 21st of next month (shave day).

Spanks,

but only if I dig you, I want to, and you're rad/sexy/ and/or cool.



I'm excited to remove one of my security blankets that I also quite love. Join in the fun!

-Darbi Rhian Maaswinkel

The only thing remotely Valentines about me at all are these wonderous bright red fuzzy booties I just bought myself today. So comfy and cute, and snuggly. The best thing about valentines ever was when we used to buy the other kids in class cards and give each other little candies. Now, it's just this expectation. I mean sure, that isn't to say that I wouldn't love to have a man in my life who did something for me in the romantic way during this time of year--Owen even bought and sent me a bouquet of roses a couple of February 14th's ago, but even then it was more of a friendship offering as far as I was concerned. He was thoughtful like that, we were still on speaking terms after our recent break up and his move up north, and it was just this really nice thing. Not weird, even if others thought it was.

Anyways, I've digressed. I guess my main point is not that I'm a pessimistic cynic or anything, just that I'd love for things to be done for me out of real romance, and not because of the presence of this romantic "holiday." If I were with him right now, I wouldn't think anything of these days, but I've heard others speak about tomorrow for nearly the last week. Something tells me that the "typical" guy isn't all overwhelmed and flustered that his girlfriend prepared some sort of time intensive craft special detailing just how much she loves him in every imaginable way possible to wo(man), as explained on a thousand bright pieces of red and purple heart paper inside of a balloon with those cinnamon heart candies and the other one's that are all multi coloured with words like "love you" or "my only valentine." I don't think I'd ever do something like that ever. I'd rather just be like "babe, lets just take off for a few days." That's more my flow ya know? Whatevs.

I totally dig on the changes those at lj put up during yearly festivities--it's nice. First thing I noticed was the purple motif, but mainly because of my luv for everything purple. I just feel bad thinking about all of the guys involved with expectant women who have to buy into the crap. Poor guys. They really are given the shit stick a lot more than they probably realize. Some women can be so manipulative.

On the other hand...
Good day tomorrow all of you lucky women with those genuinely romantic and thoughtful men.

cheese and crackers
chips and dip
cheezies
various nuts
dark and white chocolate truffles
raisin tarts
pecan tarts
lemon tarts
apple salad
chocolate cream pie
vanilla bean ice cream with rum butter
sugar cookies with chocolate waffers
stiff spiced rum&egg nog
a really nice Zinfandel that I can't remember the name of
and
ceasars ceasars ceasars!

In true D-rock style, my tummy was rock hard from the Christmas eve feast and Christmas day dinner.

In other news:
Before she went out of town, Mom and I were on this Ghouls and Ghosts marathon. We originally played it on the Sega Genesis when I was 10, and now we play it on the Super Nintendo.
And now I may just rap it, as I devour some popcorn. I kinda don't want to though, it's funner to do together.

I can't get enough of the new Sean Lennon album. I blasted it at ten o' clock last night, had a bath, and returned Owen's call. Thanks O.

Oh yes, Owen's cracked me up so hard the other night. "I wish women weren't so attractive."


I'm going shopping tomorrow.

I want this shirt:
http://www.merchdirect.net/TeamSleep/Womens/Rose_Yellow_Girlie_TShirt?productid=1308

So, we get the laptop back, and the invoice says its been struck by the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. We laughed over that, but still! We lost everything. SHIT ASS.

As I was walking through the halls on Monday (for my sociology final), I thought 'I'm in school right now, and Hayley is in the Caribbean. So totally fucked.'

Wayne might be moving back here. I really hope he does.

Sorta had plans for NEW YEARS, but no more. Bummed. No huge desire to do anything major. Whatevs. Maybe I'll make it a singular celebration.

I want to make a thousand t-shirts.

Paola and I have been messaging back and forth from Cal to new Zeal. That's been pretty rad.

I still have to call Eric&Ash&Sophie.

Owen just called me. SO LONG SUCKTOWN. We are going to make matching shirts.

Miss Hayls, Bushra and myself have been working on some group work and having some girl talks. So fun. The second part mostly. This dude keeps buying Bushra little gifts and texting her now that his relationship with his girlfriend is in shambles. He just bought you a plant for her desk. Her co-worker was all like "You're lover (Jeremy Lowe pronounced 'J Lowe') just brought you a present."
I'm finding this all very hilarious, and her boyfriend Kevin is so freakin funnay. This guy just bought her an IPOD last Christmas, and Kevin was all like "What the hell is he doing buying you that?! It's my responsibility!"

Also, I told Bushra that if I could draw, I'd draw her inside of a huge cell phone with those blurbs everywhere, cause it just cracks me up. She would also be holding her own cell phone. Man, it would be great.


Hayley created another acronym for some concepts in our Community Development class. DSDAA "Dave says Daphne Ate Alex."

I'm feeling extremely goofy right now. Like ready to rock out max style. Few people have seen me this way.

I can't get the line from that sexual harrassment thing out of my head. Personally, I think the "Power Struggle/Power Fuck" segment is the mofo greatest.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/sexharassmentvideo.html

wicked! This rules!

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In February I donated bone marrow to eenwood in a life-saving procedure (300 points). Last Sunday I pulled over and changed myssslysss's flat tire (15 points). In October I didn't flush (-1 points). Last Wednesday noir_love_cafe and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). In June melvania and I robbed a bank (-50 points). Overall, I've been nice (275 points). For Christmas I deserve a pony! Sincerely, drock_delux

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

A friend through the social work faculty told me a hilarious story. Some girls may find it more funny than some guys.

Bushra: "Kevin, I love you."
Kevin: "I love you too babe."
Busra: "No Kevin.... I LOVE YOU."


Suffice it to say she's been really emotional lately, and she's typically quite funny and pretty cute. Anyways that's all.

I want something I can't have because it's not available. It's not available because I'm not a skizank. *edit* Well, other stuff too. Mainly the other stuff.

night

Hello World

Today will be a good day.

Jeff Buckley
Sketches (For My Sweetheart the Drunk) (1998)
I Know We Could Be So Happy Baby

There’s no easy answer
None to blame or forgive
Two cripples dancing
To the end we live

I’m not with you not of you
Not with you, not of you
You are soft and young to me
I am the ghost who comes and goes
And I hope I’ll catch you
In the throws of one last look at the wonder
One last look at the wonder

O, God, I love you
And all the past we once knew
Some other love becomes you
Whatever else we come to
I know we could be so happy, baby
If we wanted to be

You are soft and young to me
I am the ghost who comes and goes
I'm hoping that I’ll catch you in the throws
Of one last look at joy that we’ve become

But there’s no easy answer, none to blame or forgive
We were two cripples dancing
To the bitter end we live
I’m not with you, but of you
I’m not with you but of you

O, God, I loved you
And all the past we once knew
Some other love becomes you
Whatever else it comes to
I know we could be so happy, baby
If we wanted to be

We had a birthplace in common
We had separate beds and lives

I’ll just sit here and glow
Break out the oldest pictures
Hand your ruined letters out to dry
We had a birthplace in common
And separate beds and lives
And lives, and lives
I know that we could be so happy, baby
If we wanted to be
I know that we could be so happy, baby
Yeah oh.


More from artist :
Jeff Buckley



More from album :
Sketches (For My Sweetheart the Drunk)